December 2008

We Wish You a Merry Fishmas

Happy Holidays from HLD&S!

May your days be merry and bright, and may Norman Braman go fly a kite. 

I’d like to thank the Academy…

large_OSCAR3.jpgAs I am sure everyone has noted by now, there is a shiny new logo on HLD&S. Yes, that’s right folks. Hook, Line Drive, & Sinker, what with its professional and in-depth (not to mention timely and hard-hitting) coverage of the Florida Marlins, was the #32 most-visited MLBlogs fan blog this past season. Which really begs the question, why didn’t I get a top 32 logo??? I mean, seriously. Or at the very least, a top 40. But bloggers can’t be choosers, I guess.

In light of this most prestigious honor, there are several people I need to thank:
1) People who fish. And who google anything related to fish or fishing, only to stumble across HLD&S, which gives them zero info on the subject they’re searching, but pads my stats quite nicely. Your billions of hits are most appreciated.
2) People who are trying to figure out how to Fish. Why, if I had a nickel for every time “How-far-from-the-hook-do-I-put-the-sinker-on-the-line?” brought some aspiring fisherperson to my blog, I’d probably be able to buy the Marlins from Jeffrey Loria. 
3) People who hate Scott Olsen/Scott Olsen. Still the most popular search that brings Pennsylvania residents to HLD&S, and usually to the blog that started it all, I must thank Philths Phans. And Scottie, while I’m at it. His unpopularity has evoked more hits than I can count. National or not, HLD&S will always love you and your boyish scowl and middle finger and temper tantrums and road rash due to resisting arrest with violence… Seriously.
4) People who love Chase Utley. And who google him and end up at HLD&S only to discover that I do not.
5) FishStripes, a real Marlins blog, without which only about one and a half people would be aware that HLD&S even exists. And now that I’ve linked to it, it will also probably be the reason that I will finish #3,472 in the MLBlogs rankings next season. But oh well.
6) Actual readers of HLD&S. Whether you’re just misguided, heavily medicated, or a little too obsessed with baseball for your own good, it’s nice having the six of you here. 

Merry Christmas to Us.

23961370_125x125.jpgTwas the week before Christmas when jolly St. Nick

Got to thinkin’ ’bout which gift to give to the Fish,
“Now what would they want more than anything else?”
Said he as he quietly sat by himself,
A ballpark? A closer? Control for young Miller?
Perhaps some more people to act as seat fillers? 
Then what to his wandering eyes should appear
But a list of the folks who were naughty this year
The Mermaids weren’t on it, nor Tommy nor Rich
Nor guys who could hit, who could catch, field or pitch,
But Samson was naughty! he checked the list twice!
And good gifts are only for kids who act nice.
Then ‘fore his big eyes what a vision he saw,
Of a little red team and their ancient southpaw,
So the idea formed in his merry old brain,
And with it a joy that he could not contain,
“Who cares if they boo-ed me on national tv?
They wear red and white just like jolly old me!”
“On Dasher! On Rudolph! On all the reindeer!
I’ll give the Fish what they deserve for this year!”
So he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like they’d sat on some thistles,
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Two more years of Moyer to all, and to all a Good Phight!!!”
It appears we have made the naughty list this year, fish fans. Ho, ho, ho.