Emilio Bonifacio, you are getting verrrrrrrry sleeeeepy. You are reverting back to the first week of the 2009 season, when it looked as though you sort of knew how to play baseball. You are remembering how to hit the ball– somewhere other than into the glove of a waiting fielder. You are bunting for base hits. You are batting .485 with an OBP of .899 (give or take). You are stealing multiple bases per game. You are not getting picked off of said bases due to real bad base running. You are not missing squeeze signs or failing to throw out runners with the speed of one-legged turtles. You are not striking out repeatedly. You are not having your third oh-fer in a row. You are not sucking. I repeat, you are not sucking. *snap*
We at HLD&S simply hate to say I told you so.
It felt a little surreal last night watching the Marlins take on the Phillies to open their series at Citizen’s Bank Park. That was partly because Bud Selig decided it would be a pretty neat idea to make the Fish (and the rest of the league) wear solid red caps in honor of Memorial Day. To the uninformed observer, it looked like the Fish had lost their own hats somewhere between Miami and Philly, and had to borrow some extras from the home team.
Who are you guys, and what have you done with my team? (whatever you did, I hope you hid the evidence well, because we don’t want them back.)
I’m going to try something new on this here blog. It’s a little something I like to call positive reinforcement. (Don’t feel bad if you’ve never heard of it before. It’s a relatively new concept.) I guess I could spend the next 80 paragraphs berating the Marlins for yesterday’s loss to the D-backs–their seventh loss in the last eight games–but that isn’t exactly thinking outside the box for HLD&S. And since desperate times call for a raiding of grandma’s prescription drug stash desperate measures… positivity, here I come.
First things first.
And what hell might I be referring to, you ask? Would it be the hell that involves the Fish dropping another five straight? The hell where our team is now two games under .500 after starting the season 11-1? The hell of Dan Uggla’s .182 BA and his present “automatic out” status that is greatly contributing to the Marlins’ inability to win ball games? The hell where even Jorge Can’tu? Or perhaps the hell of a rotation that will now feature Andrew Miller and John Koronka to compliment the all new Ricky YESlasco we’ve been enjoying this season?