I get paid to talk on your radio. And there is nothing you can do about it. I moved to South Florida in 1995 as a Reds fan, and fully intended to stay one for eternity. One fateful October, though, a new club weaseled its way into the picture. In 1997, I jumped the Fish bandwagon, and have never looked back. Making fun of Marlins fans (i.e. "what fans? hyuck, hyuck") is a trend that I find super neat. I never tire of tuning in to ESPN and hearing those brilliant one-liners writers have so expertly crafted. They induce the deepest belly-laughs imaginable, and they never, ever get old. Seriously, you can pick on Fish fans all you want (jokes are the least of what we've had to endure since 1993; we can take it), but those of us who have remained loyal to the teal & black for the long haul have got to be among the most outstanding fans in the entire world of sports.

Florida Marlins baseball, frozen lemonade, hating the Phillies, Chuck Norris.