Phantasy Auction

Nothing fills my heart with joy quite like dreaming that the Phillies had to forfeit all three games in the series due to their team plane being hijacked by terrorists (aka editors of HLD&S) and diverted to a deserted island where they will live out the remainder of their days braiding palm fronds and carving coconuts for entertainment.

Uh, but since that is merely wishful thinking, I will settle for being filled with joy due to a thorough pummeling of my least favorite team in all of professional sports. Ahhh, happiness.

Tonight's telecast of the Marlins-Phillies game is even more exciting than usual, as FSN Florida hosts its Fantasy Auction to raise money for the Marlins Community Foundation. Now, I enjoy giving back as much as the next person, don't get me wrong, but I think the coordinators of the auction could have been a bit more creative with the items they put up to bid.

Golfing with Tommy Hutton is nice and all, but it might take a bit more to inspire me to open up the ol' wallet. How about a chance to use Chase Utley for target practice? Just a pellet gun, mind you, nothing that could fatally wound him (at least not for less than a hundred grand). Or how about the chance to take part in the next Fish/Phils benches-clearing brawl? I could get in a serious bidding war over that one. 

But boring packages aside, each auction item has received a respectable number of bids this evening. Well, all but one, that is. Seems there haven't been any takers so far for the Fielding Lessons with Jorge Cantu. Can't figure that one out.

Well, back to the tv, and our fabulous defense's valiant attempts to give away this ballgame.