Well that was just plain...

Three strikeouts. Six LOB. Three errors--the most ever recorded by anyone in any all star game in history, and half his present total on the season.

Oh, Daniel.

Thank goodness I am forced to rise with the, uh, [whichever creatures rise six hours before the rest of the world], because my inability to stay up past 11 PM kept me from actually witnessing Dan's meltdown last night.

So while I go about my day pretending that it never happened, the rest of the Fish fans can try and erase the memory from their brains by focusing on the positive aspects of Dan's All-Star game appearance. (Yes there were. Trust us on this one.)

STUFF THAT DID NOT GO REAL BAD FOR UGGLA LAST NIGHT:

1) This year everyone with a mic actually knew how to, you know, pronounce "Uggla."

2) Dan did not trip as he trotted onto the field when they announced his name (thankfully he saved the clumsiness for the actual game instead.)

3) A grenade was not thrown at Dan from the stands.

4) Three entire things did not go real bad for Danny last night.

And if none of the aforementioned positives are enough to console you, take heart-- there's always the trusty ankle injury we can blame for his miserable All-Star performance.

Note: HLD&S editors sincerely apologize for the title of this post. We tried to resist, but in the end the urge was simply too strong. (just ask any of the--roughly--12 billion writers who did a piece on Dan today.)