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You can’t spell Badenhop without N-A-P
A row of diehard Reds fans in the bullpen box abandoned their heckling and heartily rooted for the home team in the bottom of the 14th inning last night at Dolphin. Seems any sense of loyalty to Cincinnati dissipated around the same time their beer buzz wore off– five innings earlier, when a normal game is supposed to be over.
“Just score. Somebody. Anybody. Get us the **** out of here.”
Not exactly as heartwarming a conversion to Fish fan-dom as Regis Philbin’s, but hey; we’ll take fans any way we can get them. (Last night we got them as a result of severe posterior distress via four-and-a-half hours in hard plastic orange seats.)
My third Josh Johnson start at Dolphin went pretty much as expected, with JJ doing his level best to earn a W, and the offense doing its level best to extend the Marlins’ starters winless streak to 17 games. Hats off to the bullpen, which battled through seven innings to give the Marlins every chance to snap their three-game skid. In the end, all the heart and heroics of a lousy throw to first clinched the victory for the Fish, who won 3-2 on a walk-off error.
Johnson cruised, Hanley crushed, and Cantu grounded into the game-winning double play (sort of). But in the end, after three scoreless innings in relief, it was Burke Badenhop who earned a write-in on my All-Star ballot, for making it totally worth it to head to work on three hours of sleep today.
You can’t spell Badenhop without H-O-P-E
Um, you can’t spell it without B-A-D, either, but let’s just move on from that.
The Fish have just been swept by the Pirates. The time to panic be real annoyed is now. What can we learn from this series in Pittsburgh? That PNC Park is to the Marlins record as Jamie Moyer is to the team’s batting average. Good riddance, Pittsburgh.
And now on to the real meat and potatoes of this post. It seems the powers that be have completely ignored my bold declaration of Badenhop‘s rightful place in the starting rotation (see yesterday’s blog), and are actually, like, tossing around some other ideas. Seriously, people? We all know that Burke should start Sunday. Let’s look at the facts:
- With a name like Penn, it is a given that you should be pitching in relief. Embrace your destiny, Hayden.
- If Badenhop doesn’t get the number 5 spot, there will be at least an 88.6% droppage in the amount of times we get to hear and/or read the name “Burke Badenhop.” It’s a fun name. Even if he stinks real bad, there’s that. And let’s not forget Badenhop’s many derivatives. Hopper, Hoppie, Hop? Come on. What do they call Dan Meyer or Sean West for short? Nothing that fun, I assure you.
- Dan Meyer is one of the few dudes in the bullpen right now who doesn’t make me want to gouge my own eyeballs out with a fork. Let’s just keep that going, shall we?
- Badenhop’s name appears first on the Marlins pitching roster. Coincidence? I think not. Unless you take the fact that they are listed alphabetically into consideration, which I don’t, since that does nothing to help my argument.
Well, it’s not as fancy as an actual pitching analysis complete with complicated decimal points, percentages, and squiggly red lines (which longtime readers of HLD&S have come to expect from this blog), but I think my argument in favor of Badenhop making the rotation is a solid one.
HLD&S OFFICIAL POSITION: BADENHOP FOR STARTING RO!*
*position subject to change pending performance Sunday.
marlinkelly
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